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  <title> For I must be traveling on now</title>
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  <description> For I must be traveling on now - LiveJournal.com</description>
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    <title> For I must be traveling on now</title>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/15154.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Fri, 04 Jan 2008 05:03:06 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Friends Only</title>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/15154.html</link>
  <description>&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: center;&quot;&gt;&lt;img alt=&quot;&quot; src=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v104/yuyuhakusholover/Headers/009.jpg&quot; /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;font size=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;font-weight: bold;&quot;&gt;Friends banner made by &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;go_avi&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://go-avi.livejournal.com/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://go-avi.livejournal.com/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;go_avi&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/font&gt;&lt;div style=&quot;text-align: left;&quot;&gt;&lt;font size=&quot;2&quot;&gt;This journal is friends only for personal posts, and public for fanfiction. Speak if you want to be added. More than likely, I&apos;ll add you. (:&lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;font size=&quot;1&quot; style=&quot;font-weight: bold;&quot;&gt; &lt;/font&gt;&lt;/div&gt;</description>
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  <category>journal: ramblings</category>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/14113.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 30 Dec 2007 18:36:20 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Fic Roundup</title>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/14113.html</link>
  <description>Totally stole this from Shona. And yes! You can see how I never know what to name things! (: &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Heroes&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/12126.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Perfect&lt;/a&gt; - Bob/Elle&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Their relationship is perfect. He&apos;s her protector. But they both know it&apos;s wrong.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/12493.html&quot;&gt;Treat&lt;/a&gt; - Matt/Ted&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Matt and Ted go trick-or-treating. Things never go as planned when Matt&apos;s with Ted, though.&lt;/i&gt; Written for &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;rare_heroes&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/rare_heroes/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;16&apos; height=&apos;16&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/rare_heroes/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;rare_heroes&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/11575.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;New Beginnings&lt;/a&gt; - Nirand/Sylar, Gabriel/Momo&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Mohinder needs to understand he really messed up.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Lost&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/7911.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Falling&lt;/a&gt; - Charlie/Claire&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;AU - Claire will do anything for her heroin. She&apos;ll even sink as low as getting back with Charlie.&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;b&gt;Supernatural&lt;/b&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8344.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Supernatural Drabbles&lt;/a&gt; - Sam/Dean, Sam/Madison, Sam/Jess, Gen&lt;br /&gt;Nine drabbles for &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;spn_secretfic&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;16&apos; height=&apos;16&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;spn_secretfic&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/9021.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Supernatural Drabbles&lt;/a&gt; - Sam/Dean, Sam/Madison, Sam/Jess, Dean/Cassidy, Gen&lt;br /&gt;Eight drabbles for &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;spn_secretfic&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;16&apos; height=&apos;16&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;spn_secretfic&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8715.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Vision&lt;/a&gt; - Gen&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Sam has a vision. &lt;/i&gt;Written for &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;spn_secretfic&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;16&apos; height=&apos;16&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;spn_secretfic&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8643.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;College&lt;/a&gt; - Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;College is too hard for Sam. &lt;/i&gt;Written for &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;spn_secretfic&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;16&apos; height=&apos;16&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;spn_secretfic&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a href=&quot;http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8012.html#cutid1&quot;&gt;Five Kisses&lt;/a&gt; - Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;&quot;Sam, I know if you&apos;re reading this, something happened to us. But it&apos;s Valentine&apos;s day, and I&apos;m just thinking of what we&apos;ll be in twenty years and I can&apos;t imagine that far because everyone around us is falling apart. I have five beautiful roses in front of me and I was just thinking… can you remember five really special kisses we&apos;ve shared? I love you, no matter what happened. Always have, always will. Jessica.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/i&gt;So. Nine things listed. 24 all together. LOLZ I SUCK. I had the DW story but I hated it and removed it. And I&apos;m working on another DW story but it&apos;s FAILING. FAILINGGGGG. And reminding me of HP for some reason.</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/14113.html</comments>
  <category>fic roundup</category>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/12493.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:42:00 GMT</pubDate>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/12493.html</link>
  <description>Title: Treat&lt;br /&gt;Rating: NC-17&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Matt/Ted&lt;br /&gt;Spoilers: It&apos;s set in 5YG, but sort of AU&lt;br /&gt;Promts: Snakebite, trick-or-treating, loin cloth&lt;br /&gt;Word count: 2507&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Matt and Ted go trick-or-treating. Things never go as planned when Matt&apos;s with Ted, though.&lt;br /&gt;Author&apos;s Note: I signed up for the fic-exchange on &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;rare_heroes&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/rare_heroes/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;16&apos; height=&apos;16&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/rare_heroes/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;rare_heroes&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&amp;nbsp; and then they didn&apos;t do reveals for a while so I could never post it. I noticed they did it in October but I&apos;m not that up-to-date on the comm. So here it is. And yes, it&apos;s old, from late August/early September.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Matt can&apos;t stand time. He knows it&apos;s illogical, but he hates it with every bone of his body. Five years. Five long years means every person he&apos;s met had turned into a mass murderer, into a terrorist, into someone he needs to destroy. All because of a stupid bomb.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;At least he manages to get a few things. Matthew, for instance, is the brightest boy he&apos;s ever known. He can already do such complex things as square roots and is starting to touch on trigonometry, but he knows it&apos;s his power. Micah was a technopath - Matthew can solve any problem given to him, and he knows he&apos;ll be such a bright boy, if he can get him to test the right colour.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Janice still speaks to him from time to time if he can get her on a good day. He knows he did an awful thing, but with his line of work, he had to. Such horrible words were spoken to keep his son and wife away from him, and even in the hands of another man, he knows it&apos;s a better life for her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And Ted. He isn&apos;t even sure what to call that anymore. The most wanted terrorist is Nakamura, the next Petrelli, and then probably Ted. Somehow they&apos;ve been tipped off he&apos;s alive and yet he isn&apos;t terrified. He&apos;s hidden.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He isn&apos;t even sure how it happened. One minute, he was heading to the FBI when Sylar had attacked him, and the next Matt had heard his thoughts in downtown New York City just weeks ago.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He&apos;s hidden from everyone, staying in Matt&apos;s house. It&apos;s probably foolish, but there&apos;s nowhere better for the man to stay. Alleys and parks would never work, old buildings would be found in days, and he&apos;s respected enough by Sylar - Nathan, he has to remind himself to keep smiling and to keep alive - that he knows the scruffy man won&apos;t be found out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Work is taking its toll, wearing him down as he spends each day looking for Nakamura or Petrelli, just to be able to serve them the justice they deserve. Yet when he comes home, Ted is there. He knows it&apos;s cheating, in some messed up way, but he and Janice never truly divorced. They&apos;re separated, and he can&apos;t help but ignore that as he walks in.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;What greets him is a sight to behold. Days mould themselves into a blur now as he tries to protect the world, as Nathan calls it. Not much can make him smile anymore except maybe a drawing from Matthew. But when he walks in, he finds himself laughing immediately.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;What?! I&apos;m Tarzan!&quot; Ted shouts angrily as he stands there, hands on his hips, with nothing but a loin cloth made from what looks like a shirt. Matt can&apos;t help but snort and he knows Ted must&apos;ve found the sewing kit, a small little box with nothing but a needle and about four colours of thread. He&apos;s sure of that as he sees the haphazard stitching on the side of his hip in white, not at all matching.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;In a way, it&apos;s cute.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Then am I Jane?&quot; Matt can&apos;t help but ask, covering his mouth with the back of his hand to cover his laughter.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Fuck you,&quot; Ted snaps out. &quot;It&apos;s Halloween. How the hell can you forget?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A quick frown is given and is it really? He thought it was the end of September. Damn, his days are so off. Yet there&apos;s no need for time anymore. The seasons are warped, the winters starting in February and ending in March, summers starting in May and ending in October. From the amount of pollution due to war, destruction and people generally not giving a fuck, the world seems ready to explode in just years.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Unlike someone, I work,&quot; he says as if he forgot by just days. Then he smiles. &quot;Find me a costume.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;*&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Two hours later, Ted has claimed that he&apos;s &quot;uncostumeable&quot; and has decided he needs to go as a policeman or a girl and leaves the choice up to Matt. Without a second&apos;s thought, he&apos;s found his old uniform and dressed up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Tarzan and his friend, Mr. Cop. Ted decides they&apos;re a match made in heaven.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The worst part is that Ted – or &lt;i&gt;Tarzan&lt;/i&gt; as he wants to be called now – wants to go trick-or-treating. It&apos;s a ludicrous idea that can get them both killed, and they&apos;ll stick out so easily amongst the children who have their parents near them, gripping them tightly while remembering fond memories of their childhood and not caring for their safety, or their child&apos;s.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That&apos;s why he finds himself grumbling as he walks towards an apartment building, a plastic pumpkin that Ted made him buy gripped in his hand. It already has some candy in it from an apartment building they hit before, but most of the doors were slammed in their faces. He wasn&apos;t surprised.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Oh. Come on, cheer up,&quot; Ted commands as he chews on a chocolate. He waves one in front of Matt&apos;s face. &quot;Come on. Eat candy. I know you like it.&quot; He grins and runs off to the nearest door so fast that Matt can&apos;t figure out if that was a joke about his weight or not. The door&apos;s knocked upon and Matt just has to scowl there silently.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It swings open to show an old woman, and Matt can see the bowl of candy sitting on the table next to the door for kids. Ted holds up his pumpkin without a word. The woman looks ready to scream at first but then sees the look on Matt&apos;s face and laughs as she hands over a handful of candy.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Matt!&quot; Ted snaps for him, and Matt&apos;s sure he&apos;s not going to have his candy by the end of the day. The other man has already eaten half of his own – why would he get to keep any but the nasty butterscotch that Ted isn&apos;t touching?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He bitterly holds his pumpkin out and when he&apos;s sure Ted isn&apos;t looking, mouths &apos;I&apos;m so sorry&apos; to the woman, only to get an extra handful. Maybe that should&apos;ve been his plan of action from the beginning…&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The door shuts and he heads down the hall, only to hear, &quot;Where the hell are &lt;i&gt;you&lt;/i&gt; going?&quot; For fuck&apos;s sake, he wants to sleep. That was his plan anyway when he came home. Now it&apos;s destroyed. It was nearing eleven o&apos;clock – by now, they would have sex and gone to bed on a normal day. Today is anything but.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;We have like, a quarter of it filled. Come on, Ted,&quot; Matt says with a sigh and he sounds truly unhappy, something that makes Ted frown. &quot;I&apos;ll buy you a bag of anything you want.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The man comes forward and strokes his badge. &quot;I don&apos;t really care about the candy, y&apos;know,&quot; he says quietly. When he sees Matt starting to talk, he snaps out, &quot;I&apos;m not done yet!&quot; His temper has started to flare as of his return, past what Matt remembered. Maybe that&apos;s the problem. He can&apos;t remember him at all.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I like you in your cop uniform. It reminds me of us in that room, remember? When we first met?&quot; Ted whispers and he nips Matt&apos;s ear. He grins lightly and then glances towards an apartment door.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;What are you thinking?&quot; By now, Matt knows to ask this question for all of their safety. Ted has such good control of his radiation, like Matt has control of his own power. He&apos;s worried sometimes though, because even the best can lose control. And yet he&apos;s scared to use his powers with Ted. Every time he tries, there&apos;s fragments of broken thought, thoughts of murder, and thoughts of his wife that make Matt feel dirty. Now wouldn&apos;t be any different.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ted moves over to an apartment and knocks on the door loudly. He waits several seconds, then knocks again. &quot;Listen inside.&quot; Not surprisingly, it&apos;s a command and Matt has to listen or else he&apos;ll have the couch for a long while.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A quick sigh is given and he does so. &quot;There&apos;s a snake.&quot; He can easily tell animals apart, though dogs and cats can sometimes be a problem, but things like fish or snakes are easy as they&apos;re so different.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;That&apos;s it?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Yeah. Why?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Before he can get a response, Ted is melting the lock with a slow stream of radiation. He finally turns the knock and the door swings open, leaving a smiling Tarzan and a scowling cop. Matt doesn&apos;t want to know how many times he&apos;s done that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;We&apos;re not breaking and entering.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Um. I already broke and…&quot; Ted took a step in. &quot;I just entered. Come on. There&apos;s a bed.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ted couldn&apos;t be serious, could he? He&apos;d had sex in a lot of places but on someone&apos;s bed that he didn&apos;t know…&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Another thing that he didn&apos;t like was that the man seemed capable of knowing his thoughts at the oddest times. It was like Matt was another Petrelli, stealing his power. &quot;Look. It&apos;s just like a hotel. Come on.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ted&apos;s like a child sometimes. He doesn&apos;t get the concept of personal space – or doesn&apos;t care – and Matt has to listen to him. If he doesn&apos;t, he&apos;ll get a loud tantrum of powers and rage and he&apos;s certain he&apos;d have cancer by now if it weren&apos;t for the fact that Ted can control his powers better than years before.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;They walk in and look around, and it&apos;s an odd mixture of shabby with rich. He doesn&apos;t want to call it chic, but there are nice paintings and beautiful statues but at the same time, the wood&apos;s worn and the wall paper is starting to peel.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He&apos;s dragged towards the back like a puppet on strings, unable to fight. Before he can resist it, his clothes are being removed, button by button.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ted&apos;s gaze is so intense that it makes him almost squirm under the man. He loves him, he&apos;s sure about that, but sometimes he&apos;s worried about it. &quot;Ted…&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Matt, shut up.&quot; The clothes hit the floor before Matt can argue anymore, and he has to close his eyes and go with the flow. He knows how it goes by now: Ted likes to be in control. He needs to be in it, to get some back to his life. The FBI took it all away; the least he can do is return a fraction of it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The loin cloth drops to the ground with a quiet noise. He&apos;s led towards the bedroom and he doesn&apos;t want to do this, not in someone else&apos;s bedroom, not with &lt;i&gt;candy&lt;/i&gt; in the room with them. In some disgusting, wrong way, it&apos;s like a child there. He isn&apos;t sure. His parents always told him he was weird. He&apos;d always envisioned himself trick-or-treating with Matthew, ending the night sick from candy. Never had Ted come into the mix.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;They go to the bedroom and he&apos;s shoved onto the blanket. Opening his eyes to stare at Ted, he has never imagined it could&apos;ve been this. Being a cop for a few more years then getting a desk job, having a few kids, bringing them to play dates and the park and just being a &lt;i&gt;Dad&lt;/i&gt;. Instead, he has this.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Messy sex in someone else&apos;s bedroom in his dusty cop uniform.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Ted—&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Matt, really. Do you want to stop?&quot; It&apos;s quipped, almost sounding like a joke, but Matt thinks about it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He frowns and looks into the other&apos;s eyes. Through all the enjoyment of his torture and the amusement, Ted looks slightly nervous. It&apos;s… cute. &quot;No.&quot; It&apos;s the only word he can manage, but it makes Ted smile so much.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He&apos;s kissed deeply and returns it with as much affection as he can, but there&apos;s a hand snaking up his leg and they&apos;re on someone else&apos;s bed. He feels a hand gripping him, and Ted knows what to do. He moves his hand so perfectly, a jerk up, another down, and he knows it won&apos;t take long.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Close your eyes.&quot; An odd request but the other asks him to do it all the time. Today, he doesn&apos;t want to.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Ted. Not here. What if someone walks in?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;You&apos;ll hear them before me. Do it.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;No.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Do it or I&apos;ll make the snake bite you.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A glare is given before Matt closes his eyes. Slow kisses are placed down his chest and it feels &lt;i&gt;good&lt;/i&gt; but at the same time, they&apos;re in a random person&apos;s apartment and…&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He&apos;s done worse things, he decides as he feels a tongue slide over his cock. Sure, it&apos;s a tricky way to win an argument but Ted wins him over so fast. He knows he&apos;s done so much worse, and a little bit of breaking and entering doesn&apos;t matter.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Rocking up, he runs a hand through Ted&apos;s hair and it feels too good. How he could be better than his wife he&apos;ll never know. &quot;Ted,&quot; he murmurs as the man&apos;s mouth slides down on him, slow and careful with each movement.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It feels too good, Matt decides. All he can manage out is a gasp, trying to get air into his lungs. There&apos;s too much warmth, and the pure perversion of their situation makes it ten times sexier. He rocks up slowly, gasping and holding Ted&apos;s head down. Anyone else he&apos;d be worried to do that with – Ted seems too skilled with it, in a way that should&apos;ve worried him. Instead, it turns him on even more.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Slow, meticulous licks of Ted&apos;s tongue are given and he knows it won&apos;t be long. It never is, not when they&apos;re not at home. There, he can last for hours. Anywhere else and just the erotic, wrong things they are doing make him want it more than ever, making it so he can&apos;t hold on.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Ted…&quot; he whispers and he rocks up. Seconds later he comes into the other&apos;s mouth, no more than a name&apos;s warning in the air. By now, he knows Ted can&apos;t care. The man simply swallows, licks him clean and lies next to him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;My turn,&quot; he says with a grin, but something&apos;s wrong. Scattered thoughts.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;Halloween. Toilet paper. Childish acts. Stupid kids. Never should&apos;ve had them. Need to pay a fine. Now I need to go to court. Why the hell did I agree to let them out of the house alone?&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As people come closer, he can hear their thoughts clearer and he curses. &quot;Ted. People. Now.&quot; He grabs his clothes and dresses as he runs for the door, but Ted doesn&apos;t move.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;You asshole! I didn&apos;t get off and you&apos;re just making up—&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;Don, get the fuck in here before I burn all your candy! I should, for how you toilet papered Mrs. Johnson&apos;s house and spray painted her cat! &lt;/i&gt;&quot;  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Ted slips on his loin cloth quickly and then follows suit after Matt, slipping down the fire escape nearly silent, two plastic pumpkins clutched in his hand.</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/12493.html</comments>
  <category>matt/ted</category>
  <category>fanfic:heroes</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/12126.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 06 Dec 2007 03:27:10 GMT</pubDate>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/12126.html</link>
  <description>Title: Perfect&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Bob/Elle, mentions of a bunch of other pairings&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 418&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Beta: NONE AHA. -ahem- Sorry if there&apos;s mistakes.&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Their relationship is perfect. He&apos;s her protector. But they both know it&apos;s wrong.&lt;br /&gt;Author&apos;s Notes: &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;toestastegood&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://toestastegood.livejournal.com/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://toestastegood.livejournal.com/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;toestastegood&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;   totally made me do it. We were trying to figure out a roleplay scene and we decided orgy (joking, of course) and she said Bob&apos;s invited and I said ew and she said Elle wasn&apos;t coming then because we&apos;d offended her father and she dared me to write it because it&apos;s her favourite ship ever. Even more than Mylar.&lt;br /&gt;Author&apos;s Notes Two: If you don&apos;t like something about it, don&apos;t write it&apos;s awesome. Criticize. I like criticism. I don&apos;t write much but when I do, I like to be able to improve. (: Thanks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;It was perfect. People couldn&apos;t comprehend that though. Some would view it as wrong, some as vile, and some would do anything to stop it. That&apos;s why they had to hide it, she understood that. There were just too many rules to follow, and he&apos;d told her, &apos;&lt;i&gt;Elle, if anyone finds out, I&apos;ll not only lose my job but I&apos;ll lose you.&lt;/i&gt;&apos; She knew she had to do anything to protect her father.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It wasn&apos;t as if it was her first relationship. When Eden and Bennet were busy with each other on &apos;field work,&apos; she&apos;d found out painting wasn&apos;t the only thing Isaac was good at. She&apos;d learned how to give her first blowjob from a man who found it fun to phase in and out of visibility all the while ranting about people who annoyed him. For ages she&apos;d thought men rambled even during their orgasm. After shocking Peter had became boring, she&apos;d found out exactly what talents he&apos;d picked up from his brother that he never shut up about. And on the loneliest of nights, she&apos;d find herself underneath a vengeful man lost in a past he could never escape. Those were the best, as Adam was rough and angry and he didn&apos;t treat her as if she was fragile, ready to break beneath him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Even through all that, she&apos;d never found a true friend. Her elementary years had been filled with torment as she&apos;d been an odd girl. Maybe she&apos;d been too tall, too lengthy, uneven. She wasn&apos;t sure, but maybe they&apos;d even &lt;i&gt;known&lt;/i&gt;. Any friends in the Company had been &apos;purified&apos; and been able to work for the Company then never spoke to her again, died, or worst of all - just vanished. Bob wouldn&apos;t say what happened, and she couldn&apos;t anger him enough to care. He was her only friend now, she&apos;d figured out. When she had no one but her father to invite to her birthday party, she&apos;d realised who her true friend was.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It was okay though. She just had to repeat it sometimes. As she laid in bed, able to hear Bob getting ready, she had to repeat it. &apos;&lt;i&gt;It&apos;s okay. It&apos;s okay. It&apos;s &lt;u&gt;okay&lt;/u&gt;&lt;/i&gt;.&apos; They couldn&apos;t be seen in public like normal couples, but in the bedroom, they were like anyone else. She still got presents, anything from a new car to a brand new access code for the entire building that Bennet hadn&apos;t even had. It&apos;d made her so happy that she&apos;d explored everywhere, getting lost.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She sat up with a warm smile as he came from the bathroom, looking at peace. The sheet crumpled to the bed but she couldn&apos;t be minded; he&apos;d seen her naked before. He&apos;d admired her before. It was her now admiring her as she looked over him, dressed in a navy suit with a blue striped tie set over it. He looked prim, proper, and demanding. Everything someone who led a company needed to be.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Yet she didn&apos;t feel worried. He was her protector, her caretaker, her watcher. He was what Bennet was for Claire, but more. She wasn&apos;t just another experiment. Bennet was simply a coward, with only dirty tricks who was always wrong.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Bob moved over to move a lock of blonde hair from her face, touch gentle and caring, something she wasn&apos;t used to in anyone she&apos;d slept with. She was treated as fragile but only because they knew who her father was, not because they wanted to protect her. He grabbed his briefcase, never speaking and she knew she had seconds before he left. &quot;Daddy, you look--&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The warm look was gone, replaced by a raging glare as he cut her off mid-sentence. &quot;Elle, do not call me that in here,&quot; he spat at her and then stormed out, briefcase in hand. Slowly she laid back down, always forgetting. &lt;i&gt;Always&lt;/i&gt;. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Well, it was almost perfect.</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/12126.html</comments>
  <category>fanfic:heroes</category>
  <category>bob/elle</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/11575.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 09 Aug 2007 05:24:26 GMT</pubDate>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/11575.html</link>
  <description>Title: New Beginnings&lt;br&gt;
Pairing: Nirand/Sylar, Mylar, Gabriel/Mohinder hints&lt;br&gt;
Word Count: 1014&lt;br&gt;
Rating: PG-13&lt;br&gt;
Prompt: Bondage&lt;br&gt;
Beta: &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;toestastegood&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://toestastegood.livejournal.com/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://toestastegood.livejournal.com/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;toestastegood&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br&gt;
Summary: Mohinder needs to understand he really messed up.&lt;br&gt;
Author&apos;s Notes: I did the whole Gabriel-Sylar are different thing. More or less? Gabriel&apos;s the nice personality, Sylar&apos;s the murderous. And it&apos;s in a random spot after S1 and there&apos;s one spoiler about a sharp pointy thing. I think. Unless I wrote it out. -whine- I&apos;m tired.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Only Mohinder. Only he could ever have the audacity to go about and ruin their perfect relationship. They have managed to pass their troubles, their tribulations, and even ignore all the whispers and the stares. They&apos;d made it. And he&apos;s set them back so far, when they&apos;d gotten past the &apos;boyfriend&apos; stage into something so much more, with just a simple kiss.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Never before has Sylar wanted to kiss someone, not like this. Maybe for survival of the fittest but not for anger. Even Gabriel is angry. They&apos;re supposed to be a couple - Mohinder understands. He actually &lt;i&gt;understands&lt;/i&gt; that there are two people in one body, and loves them both equally, loves both personalities for the differences in them. Yet he seems to love Mira more.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;center&gt;* * *&lt;/center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Two months in India should&apos;ve brought them closer. Instead, it&apos;s somehow ripping them apart. India has given him that opportunity. Mohinder has ripped it away.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So be it. He has a new play thing. The man reminds him of Mohinder, but with less fight in him. He&apos;ll be easier to control. He&apos;s already allowed him to handcuff him in a way Mohinder would&apos;ve never unless it was a &apos;game&apos; with a safe word. The handcuffs are tied to another set with thick rope, holding Mira to his back. He won&apos;t let her miss out on this. There&apos;s another rope tied to the ground to hooks that the lab has, and he loves it. It looks so perfect, with the man having a white cloth in his mouth, contrasting so strongly against his dark skin.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He moves forward to stroke his hair and smiles down at him. This is all a game to him, but he can feel Gabriel inside &lt;i&gt;seething&lt;/i&gt;. He must&apos;ve messed up then. Oh well. The man is never happy. Gabriel hasn&apos;t been happy since Sylar came to be when he was twelve.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Are you okay? Do you need anything?&quot; he asks Nirand. Mira can die for all he cares. She&apos;s just a slut, one who flaunts her body for men to see, to get her in higher places. Though Mohinder might&apos;ve thought she had the brains of a goddess, he can see past that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Nirand gives a muffle of words so he removes the gag, though he doesn&apos;t want to. It&apos;s too perfect around his mouth, reminding him of Mohinder. But the man is dead to him. He knows the second he sees him, he&apos;ll hurt him. He deserves it. So many months he&apos;s wasted with him, to have this happen. Mohinder was the one to fix his wound from Hiro, to house him, to &lt;i&gt;protect&lt;/i&gt; him. It&apos;d started after that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;And it&apos;d just failed. Sylar moves to his knees to murmur, &quot;Would you take advantage of me?&quot; He can see the confusion in Nirand&apos;s face and smiles, actually smiles because it&apos;s so amusing. &quot;If I were to give you everything, would you go and kiss some whore?&quot; There&apos;s a slight shake of Nirand&apos;s head and he strokes the man&apos;s hair still. It&apos;s so much better than Mohinder&apos;s. &quot;Good.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A sudden shout is muffled by the gag from Mira and he has to admire her resilience. She puts up a fight, even at the face of death. She&apos;s like Molly, who he has taken such a strong liking towards, enough that he has given up on her power.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gag is ripped away with a thought and he knows it has to sting as the knot is ripped. He also knows that he just proved everything true – Mohinder&apos;s theories, Chandra&apos;s fantasies. Yet he hears a string of Tamil curses that are quickly translated thanks to Charlie&apos;s eidetic memory and he realizes Mira doesn&apos;t care. It almost hurts, but the way Nirand seems dumbfounded by it makes it all worthwhile. &quot;Kundi! Thaai-Oli! Baadu!&quot; They come so fast that he just has to smirk. She really does hate him, doesn&apos;t she?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Thanks, I think,&quot; he says, feigning confusion. It isn&apos;t wise to let on that he understands Tamil. Mohinder thinks he only knows a word or two, so when he rants in it to himself, he doesn&apos;t understand that each word is understood and smirked at. It&apos;s endearing. It &lt;i&gt;was&lt;/i&gt; endearing.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He looks back to Nirand. He can do it right this time around. This man is wiser. He doesn&apos;t have the scars that Mohinder had, the trust issues. He won&apos;t let him go. He knows he is just upset and Gabriel is influencing his actions, but he wants him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It doesn&apos;t seem shocking then when he kisses Nirand, hard on the lips. What shocks him is that Nirand kisses back, light and hesitant, but enough for him to control the kiss. He nips at the other&apos;s lower lip gently and deepens it, tongue and love and need thrust into a simple kiss that&apos;s only being returned with uncertainty.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It&apos;s enough for him though because he needs it, and doesn&apos;t even turn around as Mohinder enters the room. He&apos;s nothing to him anymore.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The weak &apos;Sylar?&apos; doesn&apos;t even get his attention, not as it would&apos;ve weeks ago. Instead he continues the kiss for another few seconds then focuses on undoing the restraints. Mira runs quickly to Mohinder, and he looks back to him. He has no weapons, but it&apos;s not as if they&apos;d work.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Take her. I have someone new.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There&apos;s a string of Tamil, aimed at Nirand, and it&apos;s returned quickly. Nirand&apos;s confused and lost but in the end he stands and takes his rightful place next to Mohinder. Sylar finds himself sitting on the ground, lost and confused, staring at the three. Of course.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He smirks though, head held high. He has to take it in stride or else he and Gabriel will break. Rejection is something they&apos;ve never been good with, not after their father ignored them so many times. So he says in Tamil, &quot;&lt;i&gt;I&apos;ll be in India, Nirand. Come find me when the whore and the slut become too much. I don&apos;t cheat and I&apos;m fun.&lt;/i&gt;&quot; He freezes them and only unfreezes them once he&apos;s out the door.</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/11575.html</comments>
  <category>mylar</category>
  <category>rare_heroes</category>
  <category>fanfic:heroes</category>
  <category>nirand/sylar</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/9276.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Thu, 31 May 2007 21:02:04 GMT</pubDate>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/9276.html</link>
  <description>Pairing: Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/0014za99.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam shows he can cut hair.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&quot;You totally can&apos;t cut hair.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Yes I can.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;No you can&apos;t, Sam.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;Yes,&lt;/i&gt; I can. I lived with two guys all my life, and I have this mop of hair on my head. Let me cut it. We don&apos;t have enough money for a haircut.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Whatever.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fifteen minutes later and Sam turned her to look at herself in the mirror. One half of her blonde hair was not only cut but layered, and the other half was butchered. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Jess, little tip? Next time you want a hair cut, come to me.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Oh, someone is &lt;i&gt;so&lt;/i&gt; sleeping on the couch tonight.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Dean&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/06/break9.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: R&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam knows it&apos;s messed up, but somehow he still thinks protection is beating his brother&apos;s face in.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid2&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Sam used to believe it was just sibling protection. He&apos;d think it was a play on the old &apos;big brother protects young sister&apos; act. But as time went on, he realized that it couldn&apos;t be. Dean was older than him, and neither of them were girls.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It wasn&apos;t even a need to protect anymore. Sitting in the bar, he wanted to just keep Dean from everyone. The girls in there were too horrible for him. He was watching Dean intently as he brought a girl - Mandy, if he remembered right - an apple martini and had himself two whiskeys. She was attractive, but she wanted Dean just for his body.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There were some days that he wanted to change that. He knew how too. A part of him that he wanted to blame on the possession, a small speck that had been left over in him, knew how to change all of it. A quick slip of the blade could make only him see Dean&apos;s perfection. A huge scar, part of his lip missing, a mutilated hand...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Before the thoughts could manifest any further, Sam ordered a double whiskey. He knew that at least Dean deserved better than that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/06/bloodsplatter_know.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Dean&apos;s caused Sam to dream.&lt;br /&gt;Author&apos;s Notes: I&apos;m not really sure if this one is Sam-centric. I don&apos;t think so but it&apos;s fun and only 200 words.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid3&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Knowing who&apos;s at the end of a phone call is never a big deal. Maybe guessing who is outside the door is a bit creepy but useful. Dreaming an entire day is fucking &lt;i&gt;scary&lt;/i&gt;, though.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I always thought I was a freak. Then Dad brought us to our first telepath, never knowing I was one. But it cleared some things up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now, listening to your confused words, I can&apos;t help but wish I&apos;d left. First the guns and death spread, and now the powers had too.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You&apos;re starting to dream because of me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;m so sorry I can&apos;t fix it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fandom: Supernatural&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/02-Ash.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 741&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: College is too hard for Sam.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid4&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Not surprisingly, an education had never been a top priority for the Winchesters. Sam could remember Dean going to high school - his highest grade had been a C+ in science, where he could make things explode or dissect animals. But when he&apos;d dropped out at seventeen and a half in his junior year, John hadn&apos;t even blinked. Sam had been there for the conversation of Dean being told he&apos;d be a hunter, and had been surprised with how large Dean&apos;s smile had grown. It&apos;d all been so odd as if he&apos;d been told he&apos;d have to do that for all his life, he would&apos;ve been yelling and screaming. Then again, he would&apos;ve never quit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam himself had done so well in school. He&apos;d gotten A&apos;s and A+&apos;s without a problem, sometimes without studying. Reports were done long before they were due, and he was never picked on for being smart because once he reached 6&apos;0&quot;, he wasn&apos;t really that easy to fight and hurt anymore. Then he&apos;d signed up for Stanford, thinking he had a chance.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Apparently, a Kansas school was nothing compared to Stanford. History classes were ten times harder with information he was sure they were making up. There were words he didn&apos;t get, formulas he didn&apos;t understand in math classes he hated, and reports longer than he could ever manage in the allotted time periods. The only feasible way he could pass was if he took just one class a semester, but that would be insane for the price. Plus by the time he&apos;d finish doing that, he&apos;d be thirty.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So he&apos;d quit. With no one to back him up, it wasn&apos;t that hard. There was Jessica, but after a long decision she&apos;d decided to come along. It was weird but she wasn&apos;t doing well either and wanted to go to exploring. So just a few signatures to the papers and they were out. With their bags packed and their goodbyes said, they&apos;d gotten a long ride back to Kansas, hoping they could find Dean. He wasn&apos;t even sure if John was with him anymore and didn&apos;t quite care.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It took a week before he gave up and called. The motel room he and Jess were sharing was nothing like she deserved - it had a television and a king sized bed, but there was a stain on the carpet and he had to question if the sheets had been changed in weeks. It was all he could afford unless he wanted to go to Dean&apos;s ways though. They&apos;d had to hitchhike to get to where they were, and had to eat out of diners where he was sure there were bugs in the back or fast food places even though Jessica was a vegetarian. He felt horrible for subjecting her to this.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After dialing the numbers, he waited. A familiar tone hit his ears and he looked down to his feet, wishing it would just hurry up. It had to, right? Three rings in, he was waiting for Dean&apos;s voicemail but heard a scruffy, &quot;Who is this?&quot; at the other end.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Dean, where are you? I&apos;m running out of money?&quot; It came out as more of a question than a statement, a nervous habit he&apos;d picked up at Stanford. He felt Jessica move behind him and begin to massage his shoulders, calming him down some. He didn&apos;t know what he&apos;d do without her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Sammy?&quot; A shuffle of the phone and then came the words, &quot;Why? You in trouble?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I… I got kicked out.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He couldn&apos;t admit to it. He didn&apos;t think he ever could.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;For what? What the hell could you get kicked out for?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I…&quot; He glanced back at Jess. It&apos;d been an upsetting week. He&apos;d had to explain about hunting, about the demons, ghosts, vampires… about everything. She wouldn&apos;t get upset about this, at least not like she would&apos;ve a week prior. &quot;They found my shotgun.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Another shuffle and he wondered if his brother was getting dressed. &quot;You dumbass. Where are you? I&apos;ll come get you. You&apos;re lucky you didn&apos;t get arrested. Fucking idiot. Hide it under the floorboards! Never listen to me, though, do you!?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A slow swallow and he finally whispered, &quot;Dean, I dropped out. Me and Jess. It&apos;s too damn hard.&quot; The silence made him feel sick but he knew Dean heard him as if he hadn&apos;t, he would&apos;ve still been ranting. &quot;I didn&apos;t… I…&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I&apos;ll be there to pick you up in a bit. Where are you?&quot; Once the address was given, Dean said into the phone, &quot;This chick better be hot if she&apos;s getting a ride in the Impala. I&apos;ll be there in an hour.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Thanks.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;And I want regular threesomes.&quot; The choked noise Sam gave was apparently funny as Dean laughed. &quot;I was joking. Wouldn&apos;t want to see you naked if my life depended on it. I want her by myself, at least once. My payment for you being stupid and not realizing who you are at heart. Be there in thirty.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Before Sam could complain - or ask why the time had suddenly been cut in half - the phone was turned off.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fandom: SPN&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/44v8195.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 1027&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam has a vision.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid5&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;For some reason, the night kept dragging on. A stupid case of a demon who was possessing a small group of backpackers had taken way too long, and Sam was beginning to get a headache. He had no reason for it as he followed Dean through the woods, as it didn&apos;t feel like a vision. Most of the backpackers had run off or were dead by the time they&apos;d arrived, and the only one that had been living was possessed which they&apos;d had to shoot - a cute girl named Matilda. It&apos;d been a hard case. Maybe that was it. They&apos;d destroyed the demon though by killing her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As they headed from the woods towards a connecting park, Sam found himself watching his feet. He was absolutely starving, but something didn&apos;t feel right. He&apos;d never been hungrier in his life, though a different part of him wanted something else that he couldn&apos;t describe. It felt familiar enough so he kept it from Dean, figuring it&apos;d leave eventually.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Once the trees began to lighten and he could see children and parents picnicking in the park, he looked towards Dean. &quot;Can we stop by somewhere and get something to eat?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;There&apos;s a diner that we passed to get here. How about there?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Yeah. Sure. I&apos;m just... I&apos;m hungry and my head feels weird.&quot; As the words were spoken, he could feel an overpowering need to harm people. It made him stop and lose sense of all direction, until he noticed a rock nearby. A single, sharp rock that he picked up quickly and rose, then slammed towards Dean&apos;s head. The thing was that the time before it was a demon possessing him - this time something else was going on.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean began to back up, expecting the hit but not fast enough - he was soon unconscious. Along with him being knocked out, there was a large cut on his head that was bleeding and made Sam&apos;s senses go into overdrive.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Running into the park, he noticed people everywhere. It was filled. But with normal eyes and a clean body, he looked relatively normal at first glance. As a woman passed him to head to a set of bathrooms nearby, he proved something was wrong. A hand shot out to grab her neck, and with a quick movement he broke it. Screaming erupted from the crowd but he ran towards the next person - a man who was trying to run off. A steak skewer laid on a grill - an easy weapon. He grabbed it and kicked the man&apos;s legs out from underneath him, only to press it quickly into his head.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The world seemed to fade for a moment before coming back and his eyes zoned in on a young girl crouched over the woman, crying for her mother to wake up. He tilted his head some in curiosity but then walked towards her, ready to grasp her arm.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As he reached out, the yell of Dean&apos;s voice shocked him. &quot;Get away from her!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Loud, clear - everything that was needed to back away from her and to move his attention to his elder brother. He looked towards him to see he was bleeding badly, and for the briefest of moments he whispered, &quot;Dean?&quot; Then the girl was trying to run off and sobbing as she went which diverted his attention. So loud - she hurt his ears.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He needed to shut her up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The only logical way of doing that was by her mouth, so he grasped her quickly around her throat and began to crush it, trying to get her to be quiet. It worked after a second, making her go silent and just cry which he grinned at.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gunshot was louder than anything else. For some reason, he could see as the gun fired it though his back was turned towards it. The bullet gave relief, and his body fell to the ground in a heap. His world went black then came back into vision yet blurry.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean ran over to make sure the girl was okay. Once he made sure she was breathing, he checked for Sam&apos;s pulse. Sam could see him panicking, checking over and over, then shouting words that slurred together. He could only make out one - &quot;no.&quot; It was shouted over and over, and finally sobbed out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Eventually the gun was raised to his own head as he looked towards the girl. A small smile was given as the bullet came through and into his skull, giving him relief. Somehow Sam knew Dean couldn&apos;t live if Sam wasn&apos;t alive.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Suddenly, Sam&apos;s eyes came back into focus and he found himself staring at the old dash of the Impala. With shaking hands, he grasped his head and it helped some until Dean&apos;s hand moved to his back to try and comfort him. Another thing touching him burned, hurting so badly. He gave a small yelp of pain and jumped back, then glanced towards Dean. &quot;You&apos;re alive!&quot; he gasped as realization hit him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean slowly rose both brows. &quot;Of course I am. What did you see?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam shook his head and looked towards the woods, only to notice where they were. &quot;Get us out of here. &lt;i&gt;Now&lt;/i&gt;.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A blank, confused look was given, even after the vision. &quot;Sammy, we got a case. There&apos;s a demon in there. Y&apos;know that - you&apos;re the one that found it.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Get us out of here before I get possessed again!&quot; Sam came to another realization - Dean was taking too long, so he moved his foot to the gas as he noticed the car was only being braked. Dean&apos;s foot quickly was pulled off so the car&apos;s tires weren&apos;t ruined, and the car took off with a strong jerk that got Dean shouting at him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He didn&apos;t care though. He couldn&apos;t let them both die, not like that. He wasn&apos;t even sure if that was a possession, which was terrifying him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Dean&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/0003sf21.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: R&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam wonders why Dean didn&apos;t figure out about his possession for so long.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid6&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;It used to feel so good - their bodies entwined, hot and sweaty. Now as Dean moves within him, it feels so disgusting. He&apos;s kept it silent for long enough, but he knows he can&apos;t go on much longer. Dean went on for weeks without figuring it out. It&apos;s so wrong.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He has to fix it. If not, he can&apos;t see their relationship going on.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After Dean falls next to him on the verge of sleep, he asks softly, &quot;Dean, I was possessed for weeks. Didn&apos;t you realize?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The way Dean rolls over makes him realize he crossed a line.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/3rdstrike.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam leaves again and he can&apos;t come back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid7&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;For some reason, Dean always imagined their parting to be bittersweet with one of them dying. He never imagined it to be six small words and no explanation.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;&quot;I&apos;m sorry. I have to go.&quot;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That was it. He doesn&apos;t care. Once for Stanford, once for going after Dad, and now once for this. Sam dug the grave himself - he&apos;d walked down the lone road, carrying his things. Dean won&apos;t accept him back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Three strikes and you&apos;re out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Considering he knows the rule better than anyone, having two strikes of his own, he won&apos;t break it. Not even for Sam.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Madison&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/3ps-1.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam pays respects to Madison&apos;s grave.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid8&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Sam wasn&apos;t sure what was worse - the blast from the gun as he&apos;d shot Madison through the heart, the look Dean had given him afterwards, or the damn silence they shared throughout the whole thing. It was like they were trying to act as if it never happened, and it made him feel sick. He&apos;d murdered her - shot her through the heart with a single bullet. It&apos;d been painless but he&apos;d killed her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As he got from the car and walked towards the grave, filled with flowers and pictures, he knew he shouldn&apos;t have been here. They were still looking for the murderer, and he knew better than most that sometimes the murderers felt sorry and checked the graves to say their condolences. As he moved to his knees though, focusing his thoughts towards a picture in the stone so much like Jess&apos;s, he wished someone would figure it out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean was watching him, he could feel it, but he didn&apos;t deserve to be free. He wanted to be booked, to be tortured, to be killed. That would be right. They could&apos;ve saved her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It should have never been her under that grave. It should have been him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/2q0sw36.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: G&lt;br /&gt;Summary: The reason why Sam loves Lucky Charms so much.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid9&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &quot;Jess, I hate Lucky Charms.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A pout, and she wrapped her arms around him before she waved the box in front of his face. &quot;But I went to the store to get them especially for you. They&apos;re so good. I thought you used to eat them as a kid?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;And that&apos;s why I hate them. It was for breakfast, lunch and dinner.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;But it&apos;s marshmallows. Just a bowl? Even a handful?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He gave a frown, but finally accepted with an exaggerated sigh.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So that&apos;s why every morning he eats a bowl of Lucky Charms, whether he wants one or not.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/34doadh.png&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: G&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sammy wants to play soccer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid10&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&quot;I wanna play soccer.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A ball and the small yard behind the motel later, Dean found himself ignoring his father&apos;s strict orders not to leave the room. He&apos;d stolen the ball from someone, but he had to - Sam wanted to play. &quot;So kick the ball to me.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Kay.&quot; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam kicked it with his toes as he didn&apos;t know to kick it with his instep. Because of that, it flew far into the window of a motel room, shattering the glass everywhere. Dean wasn&apos;t a bit surprised that as they ran back to their motel room, Sam announced, &quot;Soccer&apos;s stupid.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/00003hwb.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 300&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam and Dean play a game of secrets.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid11&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Sometimes, Sam knew that Dean would be beyond astounded with him if he knew his full past. He would&apos;ve never guessed in a million years that he&apos;d been drunk before his twenty-first birthday. He would&apos;ve never fathomed that he&apos;d tried drugs, and more than just pot. He would&apos;ve never guessed that his prom date, whom Sam made to sound like a sweet girl who got A+&apos;s, really gave blow jobs for five bucks in the boys bathroom during lunch. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He and Dean sat staring at each other over a table, ten beer cans scattered in front of them. They had the last of a twelve pack to finish off and then were going to start another. A case had just been finished, and this was their way of celebrating - telling the most embarrassing stories that the other would never imagine. He&apos;d found out Dean once let a girl cross dress him for gay pride. That was amusing, and three points for Dean&apos;s score as they were actually keeping track of how embarrassing it was.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;My turn, right?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Mhmm,&quot; Dean murmured before he took a slow swallow.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Remember Claire.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Who?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Prom date.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Oh. Her. She was hot. Blond hair. Big boobs. Don&apos;t know how the hell you got her. She was so out of your league.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The insult should&apos;ve made Sam at least frown but instead he grinned the smallest bit. &quot;Her name was really Clark. I found out afterwards, in a motel room.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A swig Dean had been taking was stopped short as he spit it on the ground. &quot;Dude, you just got yourself a hundred points, considering you&apos;re saying you didn&apos;t lose your virginity for a while.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The grin widened considerably. &quot;I lost it a long time before him. Just lost a different type that night.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;…You win.&quot;</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/9276.html</comments>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/9021.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Sun, 22 Apr 2007 21:04:31 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Drabbles</title>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/9021.html</link>
  <description>I had these saved for a while and keep forgetting to post them. Whoops.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fandom: SPN&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/00025r57.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Jessica prays for protection.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;She&apos;d always been a bit religious. Her grandmother had been into it, teaching her about Christ, Mary, Hell and Heaven, all the things she used to believe were stupid. She wore a cross regularly that Sam liked. Now, she gripped it as she ran.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He had only stepped out. He had to come back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Running from the dark shadow that seemed to be against every wall, Jessica began to pray to anyone who was listening. &quot;If you let me survive this, I&apos;ll go to church everyday!&quot; It was screamed towards the Heavens, but she never made it to the stairs.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/0014za99.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam shows he can cut hair.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid2&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&quot;You totally can&apos;t cut hair.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Yes I can.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;No you can&apos;t, Sam.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;Yes,&lt;/i&gt; I can. I lived with two guys all my life, and I have this mop of hair on my head. Let me cut it. We don&apos;t have enough money for a haircut.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Whatever.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fifteen minutes later and Sam turned her to look at herself in the mirror. One half of her blonde hair was not only cut but layered, and the other half was butchered. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Jess, little tip? Next time you want a hair cut, come to me.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Oh, someone is &lt;i&gt;so&lt;/i&gt; sleeping on the couch tonight.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/10ps.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 300&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Dean doesn&apos;t get why Mommy only wants him to be a girl when Daddy&apos;s not around, so he surprises her on her birthday.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid3&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Mary had always wanted a girl and used Dean as a dress up doll. Makeup from her purse, dresses hidden in the back of his closet… It was all one big secret reserved for slow afternoons where braids would find their way into his long hair.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He loved it. To be a girl was to make his mother happy, and because of that he wanted to be one. He wanted the child in his mommy&apos;s tummy to be a girl to have a child to dress up, and he wanted his own name to be &apos;Dena.&apos; He called himself that on days when boredom struck, but would always be cleaned up by the time John came home from work.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Today was special though. It was his mommy&apos;s birthday and today he would make her happy. She wanted a girl and she would get one. He&apos;d spent an hour putting makeup on, now having the perfect look of smudged lipstick, eye shadow beneath his eyes, and eyeliner across his face for pretty designs.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He ran into the kitchen in a daisy sundress, knowing he was the prettiest girl in the world. He had to be. &quot;Happy birthday, Mommy!&quot; he bellowed out, not caring that John was in the room drinking coffee and reading.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A clatter was heard as his father dropped his mug and broke it, but Mary burst out laughing and picked Dean up, obviously ignoring the fact that John would be yelling at her in moments. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean smiled as a kiss was placed to his cheek. &quot;Do you like your birthday gift?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Very much so.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I did it all by myself.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I can tell. You did a better job than your father would&apos;ve, though,&quot; she stated which made both of the males frown as she chuckled to herself, amused.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Dean/Cassie&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/5ps-1.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Dean wants a kid, more than Cassie will ever know.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid4&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&quot;It must&apos;ve broke,&quot; Dean had said frowning the first time, looking at the condom Cassie was holding up. There was a small hole in the bottom, and no matter his conning skills, rips didn&apos;t look like that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Two weeks later, he&apos;d grunted, shrugged and rolled over. It wasn&apos;t his fault she didn&apos;t think they were ready. They&apos;d been together for two months, he wanted a kid, and he was past his twentieth birthday. He was definitely ready.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He never got a chance for a third time, because he&apos;d stupidly told her to get closer. He&apos;d never make that mistake again.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Madison, Sam/Jess so light that if you blink you miss it&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/06/alone.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam knows he&apos;ll be alone forever.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid5&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Sam stared at Madison&apos;s number in his phone and wondered to himself if he should&apos;ve been deleting it. She was dead, gone, and wouldn&apos;t be returning a phone call…&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;But he still had Jessica&apos;s cell and the house. He finally shut it off and laid back in his bed, only to look over at Dean who was sleeping almost quietly.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;They were Winchesters. They were destined to be alone, right? First his mother had died, then his father, his soul mate, someone he could see being his girlfriend…&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Maybe Dean was next.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Why did being a Winchester suck so much?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Jess, Sam/Dean&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/06/brothersname.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Jessica wishes she&apos;s loved by Sam as much as he loves Dean.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid6&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Sam&apos;s normally silent during sex. She&apos;s lucky if she can get a moan, gasp or cry from him once during the entire night if she does something special, but usually he&apos;s completely silent.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Today as he falls asleep, she feels sick. She knows what she heard, what made her stop enjoying it. At first she&apos;d thought it was just a breath of air, but as she watches his eyes close and listens to his breathing even out, she leans to grab his cell.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Going through the received calls, she quickly finds it - Dean.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She knew she hadn&apos;t imagined it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Dean&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/06/break9.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: R&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam knows it&apos;s messed up, but somehow he still thinks protection is beating his brother&apos;s face in.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid7&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Sam used to believe it was just sibling protection. He&apos;d think it was a play on the old &apos;big brother protects young sister&apos; act. But as time went on, he realized that it couldn&apos;t be. Dean was older than him, and neither of them were girls.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It wasn&apos;t even a need to protect anymore. Sitting in the bar, he wanted to just keep Dean from everyone. The girls in there were too horrible for him. He was watching Dean intently as he brought a girl - Mandy, if he remembered right - an apple martini and had himself two whiskeys. She was attractive, but she wanted Dean just for his body.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There were some days that he wanted to change that. He knew how too. A part of him that he wanted to blame on the possession, a small speck that had been left over in him, knew how to change all of it. A quick slip of the blade could make only him see Dean&apos;s perfection. A huge scar, part of his lip missing, a mutilated hand...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Before the thoughts could manifest any further, Sam ordered a double whiskey. He knew that at least Dean deserved better than that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/06/bloodsplatter_know.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Dean&apos;s caused Sam to dream.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid8&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Knowing who&apos;s at the end of a phone call is never a big deal. Maybe guessing who is outside the door is a bit creepy but useful. Dreaming an entire day is fucking &lt;i&gt;scary&lt;/i&gt;, though.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I always thought I was a freak. Then Dad brought us to our first telepath, never knowing I was one. But it cleared some things up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Now, listening to your confused words, I can&apos;t help but wish I&apos;d left. First the guns and death spread, and now the powers had too.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;You&apos;re starting to dream because of me.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I&apos;m so sorry I can&apos;t fix it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://c24.statcounter.com/counter.php?sc_project=2506995&amp;amp;java=0&amp;amp;security=f53a4709&amp;amp;invisible=0&quot; alt=&quot;website stats&quot; border=&quot;0&quot;&gt; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;/center&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/9021.html</comments>
  <category>drabbles:spn</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8715.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:31:30 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Vision</title>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8715.html</link>
  <description>Fandom: SPN&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/44v8195.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 1027&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam has a vision.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;For some reason, the night kept dragging on. A stupid case of a demon who was possessing a small group of backpackers had taken way too long, and Sam was beginning to get a headache. He had no reason for it as he followed Dean through the woods, as it didn&apos;t feel like a vision. Most of the backpackers had run off or were dead by the time they&apos;d arrived, and the only one that had been living was possessed which they&apos;d had to shoot - a cute girl named Matilda. It&apos;d been a hard case. Maybe that was it. They&apos;d destroyed the demon though by killing her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As they headed from the woods towards a connecting park, Sam found himself watching his feet. He was absolutely starving, but something didn&apos;t feel right. He&apos;d never been hungrier in his life, though a different part of him wanted something else that he couldn&apos;t describe. It felt familiar enough so he kept it from Dean, figuring it&apos;d leave eventually.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Once the trees began to lighten and he could see children and parents picnicking in the park, he looked towards Dean. &quot;Can we stop by somewhere and get something to eat?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;There&apos;s a diner that we passed to get here. How about there?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Yeah. Sure. I&apos;m just... I&apos;m hungry and my head feels weird.&quot; As the words were spoken, he could feel an overpowering need to harm people. It made him stop and lose sense of all direction, until he noticed a rock nearby. A single, sharp rock that he picked up quickly and rose, then slammed towards Dean&apos;s head. The thing was that the time before it was a demon possessing him - this time something else was going on.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean began to back up, expecting the hit but not fast enough - he was soon unconscious. Along with him being knocked out, there was a large cut on his head that was bleeding and made Sam&apos;s senses go into overdrive.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Running into the park, he noticed people everywhere. It was filled. But with normal eyes and a clean body, he looked relatively normal at first glance. As a woman passed him to head to a set of bathrooms nearby, he proved something was wrong. A hand shot out to grab her neck, and with a quick movement he broke it. Screaming erupted from the crowd but he ran towards the next person - a man who was trying to run off. A steak skewer laid on a grill - an easy weapon. He grabbed it and kicked the man&apos;s legs out from underneath him, only to press it quickly into his head.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The world seemed to fade for a moment before coming back and his eyes zoned in on a young girl crouched over the woman, crying for her mother to wake up. He tilted his head some in curiosity but then walked towards her, ready to grasp her arm.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As he reached out, the yell of Dean&apos;s voice shocked him. &quot;Get away from her!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Loud, clear - everything that was needed to back away from her and to move his attention to his elder brother. He looked towards him to see he was bleeding badly, and for the briefest of moments he whispered, &quot;Dean?&quot; Then the girl was trying to run off and sobbing as she went which diverted his attention. So loud - she hurt his ears.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He needed to shut her up.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The only logical way of doing that was by her mouth, so he grasped her quickly around her throat and began to crush it, trying to get her to be quiet. It worked after a second, making her go silent and just cry which he grinned at.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The gunshot was louder than anything else. For some reason, he could see as the gun fired it though his back was turned towards it. The bullet gave relief, and his body fell to the ground in a heap. His world went black then came back into vision yet blurry.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean ran over to make sure the girl was okay. Once he made sure she was breathing, he checked for Sam&apos;s pulse. Sam could see him panicking, checking over and over, then shouting words that slurred together. He could only make out one - &quot;no.&quot; It was shouted over and over, and finally sobbed out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Eventually the gun was raised to his own head as he looked towards the girl. A small smile was given as the bullet came through and into his skull, giving him relief. Somehow Sam knew Dean couldn&apos;t live if Sam wasn&apos;t alive.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Suddenly, Sam&apos;s eyes came back into focus and he found himself staring at the old dash of the Impala. With shaking hands, he grasped his head and it helped some until Dean&apos;s hand moved to his back to try and comfort him. Another thing touching him burned, hurting so badly. He gave a small yelp of pain and jumped back, then glanced towards Dean. &quot;You&apos;re alive!&quot; he gasped as realization hit him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean slowly rose both brows. &quot;Of course I am. What did you see?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam shook his head and looked towards the woods, only to notice where they were. &quot;Get us out of here. &lt;i&gt;Now&lt;/i&gt;.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A blank, confused look was given, even after the vision. &quot;Sammy, we got a case. There&apos;s a demon in there. Y&apos;know that - you&apos;re the one that found it.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Get us out of here before I get possessed again!&quot; Sam came to another realization - Dean was taking too long, so he moved his foot to the gas as he noticed the car was only being braked. Dean&apos;s foot quickly was pulled off so the car&apos;s tires weren&apos;t ruined, and the car took off with a strong jerk that got Dean shouting at him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He didn&apos;t care though. He couldn&apos;t let them both die, not like that. He wasn&apos;t even sure if that was a possession, which was terrifying him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As soon as they were in open road, he took Dean&apos;s gun and made sure there was only one bullet in it. He couldn&apos;t let Dean make the biggest mistake of his life.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;img src=&quot;http://c24.statcounter.com/counter.php?sc_project=2507101&amp;amp;java=0&amp;amp;security=87744441&amp;amp;invisible=0&quot; alt=&quot;blog stats&quot; border=&quot;0&quot;&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;/center&gt;</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8715.html</comments>
  <category>pairing:gen</category>
  <category>fanfic:spn</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8643.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:31:09 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>College</title>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8643.html</link>
  <description>Fandom: Supernatural&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/02-Ash.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 741&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: College is too hard for Sam.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Not surprisingly, an education had never been a top priority for the Winchesters. Sam could remember Dean going to high school - his highest grade had been a C+ in science, where he could make things explode or dissect animals. But when he&apos;d dropped out at seventeen and a half in his junior year, John hadn&apos;t even blinked. Sam had been there for the conversation of Dean being told he&apos;d be a hunter, and had been surprised with how large Dean&apos;s smile had grown. It&apos;d all been so odd as if he&apos;d been told he&apos;d have to do that for all his life, he would&apos;ve been yelling and screaming. Then again, he would&apos;ve never quit.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam himself had done so well in school. He&apos;d gotten A&apos;s and A+&apos;s without a problem, sometimes without studying. Reports were done long before they were due, and he was never picked on for being smart because once he reached 6&apos;0&quot;, he wasn&apos;t really that easy to fight and hurt anymore. Then he&apos;d signed up for Stanford, thinking he had a chance.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Apparently, a Kansas school was nothing compared to Stanford. History classes were ten times harder with information he was sure they were making up. There were words he didn&apos;t get, formulas he didn&apos;t understand in math classes he hated, and reports longer than he could ever manage in the allotted time periods. The only feasible way he could pass was if he took just one class a semester, but that would be insane for the price. Plus by the time he&apos;d finish doing that, he&apos;d be thirty.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So he&apos;d quit. With no one to back him up, it wasn&apos;t that hard. There was Jessica, but after a long decision she&apos;d decided to come along. It was weird but she wasn&apos;t doing well either and wanted to go to exploring. So just a few signatures to the papers and they were out. With their bags packed and their goodbyes said, they&apos;d gotten a long ride back to Kansas, hoping they could find Dean. He wasn&apos;t even sure if John was with him anymore and didn&apos;t quite care.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It took a week before he gave up and called. The motel room he and Jess were sharing was nothing like she deserved - it had a television and a king sized bed, but there was a stain on the carpet and he had to question if the sheets had been changed in weeks. It was all he could afford unless he wanted to go to Dean&apos;s ways though. They&apos;d had to hitchhike to get to where they were, and had to eat out of diners where he was sure there were bugs in the back or fast food places even though Jessica was a vegetarian. He felt horrible for subjecting her to this.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After dialing the numbers, he waited. A familiar tone hit his ears and he looked down to his feet, wishing it would just hurry up. It had to, right? Three rings in, he was waiting for Dean&apos;s voicemail but heard a scruffy, &quot;Who is this?&quot; at the other end.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Dean, where are you? I&apos;m running out of money?&quot; It came out as more of a question than a statement, a nervous habit he&apos;d picked up at Stanford. He felt Jessica move behind him and begin to massage his shoulders, calming him down some. He didn&apos;t know what he&apos;d do without her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Sammy?&quot; A shuffle of the phone and then came the words, &quot;Why? You in trouble?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I… I got kicked out.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He couldn&apos;t admit to it. He didn&apos;t think he ever could.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;For what? What the hell could you get kicked out for?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I…&quot; He glanced back at Jess. It&apos;d been an upsetting week. He&apos;d had to explain about hunting, about the demons, ghosts, vampires… about everything. She wouldn&apos;t get upset about this, at least not like she would&apos;ve a week prior. &quot;They found my shotgun.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Another shuffle and he wondered if his brother was getting dressed. &quot;You dumbass. Where are you? I&apos;ll come get you. You&apos;re lucky you didn&apos;t get arrested. Fucking idiot. Hide it under the floorboards! Never listen to me, though, do you!?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A slow swallow and he finally whispered, &quot;Dean, I dropped out. Me and Jess. It&apos;s too damn hard.&quot; The silence made him feel sick but he knew Dean heard him as if he hadn&apos;t, he would&apos;ve still been ranting. &quot;I didn&apos;t… I…&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I&apos;ll be there to pick you up in a bit. Where are you?&quot; Once the address was given, Dean said into the phone, &quot;This chick better be hot if she&apos;s getting a ride in the Impala. I&apos;ll be there in an hour.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Thanks.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;And I want regular threesomes.&quot; The choked noise Sam gave was apparently funny as Dean laughed. &quot;I was joking. Wouldn&apos;t want to see you naked if my life depended on it. I want her by myself, at least once. My payment for you being stupid and not realizing who you are at heart. Be there in thirty.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Before Sam could complain - or ask why the time had suddenly been cut in half - the phone was turned off.</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8643.html</comments>
  <category>pairing:samxjess</category>
  <category>fanfic:spn</category>
  <category>au</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
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  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8344.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Mon, 02 Apr 2007 01:08:25 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Drabbles</title>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8344.html</link>
  <description>So I found this cool comm that&apos;s called &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;spn_secretfic&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;16&apos; height=&apos;16&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://community.livejournal.com/spn_secretfic/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;spn_secretfic&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;. It has twenty-five posts so far with fifty pics each in it of random prompts for stories of SPN. You can only choose two in the following week so I just started writing for myself. Here&apos;s what I wrote:&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Fandom: SPN&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Dean&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/0003sf21.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: R&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam wonders why Dean didn&apos;t figure out about his possession for so long.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;It used to feel so good - their bodies entwined, hot and sweaty. Now as Dean moves within him, it feels so disgusting. He&apos;s kept it silent for long enough, but he knows he can&apos;t go on much longer. Dean went on for weeks without figuring it out. It&apos;s so wrong.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He has to fix it. If not, he can&apos;t see their relationship going on.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;After Dean falls next to him on the verge of sleep, he asks softly, &quot;Dean, I was possessed for weeks. Didn&apos;t you realize?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The way Dean rolls over makes him realize he crossed a line.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/3rdstrike.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam leaves again and he can&apos;t come back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid2&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;For some reason, Dean always imagined their parting to be bittersweet with one of them dying. He never imagined it to be six small words and no explanation.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;i&gt;&quot;I&apos;m sorry. I have to go.&quot;&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;That was it. He doesn&apos;t care. Once for Stanford, once for going after Dad, and now once for this. Sam dug the grave himself - he&apos;d walked down the lone road, carrying his things. Dean won&apos;t accept him back.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Three strikes and you&apos;re out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Considering he knows the rule better than anyone, having two strikes of his own, he won&apos;t break it. Not even for Sam.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Madison&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/3ps-1.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam pays respects to Madison&apos;s grave.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid3&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Sam wasn&apos;t sure what was worse - the blast from the gun as he&apos;d shot Madison through the heart, the look Dean had given him afterwards, or the damn silence they shared throughout the whole thing. It was like they were trying to act as if it never happened, and it made him feel sick. He&apos;d murdered her - shot her through the heart with a single bullet. It&apos;d been painless but he&apos;d killed her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As he got from the car and walked towards the grave, filled with flowers and pictures, he knew he shouldn&apos;t have been here. They were still looking for the murderer, and he knew better than most that sometimes the murderers felt sorry and checked the graves to say their condolences. As he moved to his knees though, focusing his thoughts towards a picture in the stone so much like Jess&apos;s, he wished someone would figure it out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean was watching him, he could feel it, but he didn&apos;t deserve to be free. He wanted to be booked, to be tortured, to be killed. That would be right. They could&apos;ve saved her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It should have never been her under that grave. It should have been him.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/00003hwb.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 300&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam and Dean play a game of secrets.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid4&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Sometimes, Sam knew that Dean would be beyond astounded with him if he knew his full past. He would&apos;ve never guessed in a million years that he&apos;d been drunk before his twenty-first birthday. He would&apos;ve never fathomed that he&apos;d tried drugs, and more than just pot. He would&apos;ve never guessed that his prom date, whom Sam made to sound like a sweet girl who got A+&apos;s, really gave blow jobs for five bucks in the boys bathroom during lunch. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He and Dean sat staring at each other over a table, ten beer cans scattered in front of them. They had the last of a twelve pack to finish off and then were going to start another. A case had just been finished, and this was their way of celebrating - telling the most embarrassing stories that the other would never imagine. He&apos;d found out Dean once let a girl cross dress him for gay pride. That was amusing, and three points for Dean&apos;s score as they were actually keeping track of how embarrassing it was.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;My turn, right?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Mhmm,&quot; Dean murmured before he took a slow swallow.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Remember Claire.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Who?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Prom date.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Oh. Her. She was hot. Blond hair. Big boobs. Don&apos;t know how the hell you got her. She was so out of your league.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The insult should&apos;ve made Sam at least frown but instead he grinned the smallest bit. &quot;Her name was really Clark. I found out afterwards, in a motel room.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A swig Dean had been taking was stopped short as he spit it on the ground. &quot;Dude, you just got yourself a hundred points, considering you&apos;re saying you didn&apos;t lose your virginity for a while.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The grin widened considerably. &quot;I lost it a long time before him. Just lost a different type that night.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;…You win.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Sam/Jess&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/2q0sw36.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: G&lt;br /&gt;Summary: The reason why Sam loves Lucky Charms so much.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid5&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &quot;Jess, I hate Lucky Charms.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A pout, and she wrapped her arms around him before she waved the box in front of his face. &quot;But I went to the store to get them especially for you. They&apos;re so good. I thought you used to eat them as a kid?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;And that&apos;s why I hate them. It was for breakfast, lunch and dinner.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;But it&apos;s marshmallows. Just a bowl? Even a handful?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He gave a frown, but finally accepted with an exaggerated sigh.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So that&apos;s why every morning he eats a bowl of Lucky Charms, whether he wants one or not.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/2n8bfpd.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13&lt;br /&gt;Summary: The real reason why Dean hates planes - and polar bears.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid6&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&quot;I don&apos;t get it. You&apos;ve flown before.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean rolled his eyes while he moved to lay at the end of the bed. The clock read 8:57 - Sam had to talk fast. &quot;For something important. This isn&apos;t.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;It&apos;s a case in Paris.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;About vampires. There&apos;s hunters over there.&quot; He didn&apos;t like the French, unless it was that hot girl named Charlotte who could swallow anything. But the hunters were okay.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A kick was given but Dean grunted, and neither were happy. &quot;Not any good ones. Plus it&apos;s a nice place to go. And Jess wanted to go there before she died.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;There it was - the trump card. Still, he won&apos;t going to give in. &quot;Then go alone, find a chick and sleep with her.&quot; Sam punched his arm and he didn&apos;t look happy, but Dean didn&apos;t care because it was 9:00. He turned on the television to ABC, and watched as the show began to air.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It took but seconds for Sam, who Dean knew normally never watched the show as he found it impossible, to look towards him with a skeptical look. &quot;This show is fake, y&apos;know.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Dude, I know. I just… don&apos;t like planes. Or polar bears.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/03/1.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Dean wants to apply to Kansas Community.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid7&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Dean stared at the application on the table in the motel room - their home for the next few days. He had to fill it out. He and John had had the biggest fight in years, and Sam was talking about college while still living at home. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Dean himself needed a few months alone, just to rethink things, to know it was right.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The bad thing was he had no diploma, no GED, no nothing. He had to get into this college somehow though. The social security number was a bit tough but he remembered it as it had a lot of 6&apos;s in it. Next came the name - piece of cake. Then the address. Confusion set in as he wondered if their home where he never stayed would be right, or if the motel was correct. A bit of him wanted to write &apos;Impala&apos;.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It was then that he noticed what he was doing. He was leaving his father alone to get killed. In one swift movement, he shredded the papers, knowing he had an obligation to stick around. A few classes that he hated were absolutely nothing compared to making sure his brother and father were safe.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/47mdji9.jpg&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 200&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sam finds some photos.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid8&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&quot;Hey, look what I found!&quot; Sam yelled from where he stood behind the trunk. He&apos;d been looking for guns to clean but had found a stack of pictures hidden, and the one that amused him the most was of Dean&apos;s tenth birthday. &quot;You hid them. Why?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As he glanced over the other&apos;s shoulder, Dean scowled. &quot;Maybe because of some self-esteem issues thanks to Missouri.&quot; He looked intently at the picture and then at Sam. &quot;I&apos;m cute. Not goofy. You can see that.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A brow was raised and he knew he had to be delicate about this. &quot;Cute, with twenty pounds of baby fat added on and some glasses.&quot; Okay, not so delicate. &quot;What happened to them? One day they were there and I slept over at a friend&apos;s house and the next day they&apos;re gone.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Contacts. I was damn cute.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;If you say so. But I&apos;m keeping these pictures so you don&apos;t burn them, okay?&quot; The look Dean gave Sam left him in fear for his hair&apos;s safety, as there was no way he would take that calmly. But he would&apos;ve destroyed the pictures otherwise and there were definitely some good ones.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Along with a few goofy ones, he knew.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: Gen&lt;br /&gt;Picture: &lt;a href=&quot;http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v438/Kali-sama/spn_secretfic/04/34doadh.png&quot;&gt;Here&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 100&lt;br /&gt;Rating: G&lt;br /&gt;Summary: Sammy wants to play soccer.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid9&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&quot;I wanna play soccer.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A ball and the small yard behind the motel later, Dean found himself ignoring his father&apos;s strict orders not to leave the room. He&apos;d stolen the ball from someone, but he had to - Sam wanted to play. &quot;So kick the ball to me.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Kay.&quot; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam kicked it with his toes as he didn&apos;t know to kick it with his instep. Because of that, it flew far into the window of a motel room, shattering the glass everywhere. Dean wasn&apos;t a bit surprised that as they ran back to their motel room, Sam announced, &quot;Soccer&apos;s stupid.&quot;</description>
  <comments>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8344.html</comments>
  <category>drabbles:spn</category>
  <lj:security>public</lj:security>
</item>
<item>
  <guid isPermaLink='true'>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8012.html</guid>
  <pubDate>Wed, 28 Feb 2007 22:16:10 GMT</pubDate>
  <title>Five Kisses</title>
  <link>http://babylon-pride.livejournal.com/8012.html</link>
  <description>Fandom: Supernatural&lt;br /&gt;Pairing: SamxJessica&lt;br /&gt;Rating: PG-13 (I tried for PG. It&apos;s a mix but being safe)&lt;br /&gt;Word Count: 6529&lt;br /&gt;Summary: &quot;Sam, I know if you&apos;re reading this, something happened to us. But it&apos;s Valentine&apos;s day, and I&apos;m just thinking of what we&apos;ll be in twenty years and I can&apos;t imagine that far because everyone around us is falling apart. I have five beautiful roses in front of me and I was just thinking… can you remember five really special kisses we&apos;ve shared? I love you, no matter what happened. Always have, always will. Jessica.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;Warnings: Fluff ahoy. Because someone watched the pilot ep again.&lt;br /&gt;Betas: &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;ruffianblitz&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://ruffianblitz.livejournal.com/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://ruffianblitz.livejournal.com/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;ruffianblitz&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt; and &lt;span class=&apos;ljuser&apos; lj:user=&apos;toestastegood&apos; style=&apos;white-space: nowrap;&apos;&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://toestastegood.livejournal.com/profile&apos;&gt;&lt;img src=&apos;http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif&apos; alt=&apos;[info]&apos; width=&apos;17&apos; height=&apos;17&apos; style=&apos;vertical-align: bottom; border: 0; padding-right: 1px;&apos; /&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;a href=&apos;http://toestastegood.livejournal.com/&apos;&gt;&lt;b&gt;toestastegood&lt;/b&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Author&apos;s Notes: -gulp- First SPN fanfic ever. And it&apos;s SamxJess, &lt;i&gt;and&lt;/i&gt; flashbacks that I made up. Don&apos;t kill me. Also, sorry about the letter having like, smilies in it. It was my intention to write a letter in script and have the picture be here for the letter but then I realized my script sucks.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;a name=&quot;cutid1&quot;&gt;&lt;/a&gt;Dean would definitely be laughing right then, Sam knows, if he could see him. It wasn&apos;t every day that he misplaced his laptop. Well, correction. Misplaced means it will eventually be found. Sam, somehow, knows he hopelessly lost it. It&apos;s a fate worse than death, too, because it&apos;s how all his research is done, how he communicates with his friends, how he looks at old pictures of Jess... Dean never loses his cigarettes or his car keys, so he has to wonder why he&apos;s special - or stupid - enough to lose his laptop, especially since it&apos;s a hundred times the size.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A search of first the usual spots - the beds, the dresser, the nightstands, the chair - had turned up nothing. Then one of the uncommon places - under the bed, the bathroom, in the dressers, under the big pile of clothes that somehow appeared within the span of seventeen hours - ended up fruitless also. Now, he&apos;s panicking. There&apos;s no laptop. Behind the dresser, there&apos;s an old, dirty condom but no laptop. Behind the bed, there&apos;s a random needle but no laptop. In the closet, there&apos;s a shirt that looks like it&apos;s from the eighties but &lt;i&gt;still&lt;/i&gt; no laptop.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Finally he becomes so desperate that he looks in his bag. Shuffling to the bottom, a place he never goes anymore because he&apos;s too scared of dirty laundry Dean - or he, truthfully - might&apos;ve thrown at the bottom, he stops when he finds a very worn, crinkled, manila envelope.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Huh.&quot; After taking it out, he realizes faintly that it blends almost perfectly with the bag&apos;s bottom, and moves to sit on the bed. Turning it over, he sees the name &apos;Sam&apos; written out neatly in cursive, and recognizes the handwriting immediately.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Some dread falls over him as he opens it, breaking the seal slowly. A bit of dust comes out and that doesn&apos;t make sense; it&apos;s not like anyone&apos;s been living in there. As he looks inside, he finds out why. There&apos;s one crisped, dried out rose inside, so old that he&apos;s surprised it&apos;s even holding together. Taking it out, he places it on the bed. Next, out comes a letter, and just as he goes to place the envelope on the bed, he tilts it enough for a ring to fall out.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Her high school ring. He&apos;d realized it was missing from her finger one day and she&apos;d made a big deal about it, because she&apos;d loved it. &quot;She lost it,&quot; he whispers to himself, so bewildered now. This was &lt;i&gt;not&lt;/i&gt; how he was planning to spend his day. &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He definitely doesn&apos;t mind it, though.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Picking up the ring, he fingers it slowly before slipping it as far down as he can on his pinky. Not surprisingly, it goes as far as halfway down the finger before it stops and he grins a bit. Then he looks at the letter and starts to read it out loud, not afraid of Dean overhearing. &quot;Thank god he&apos;s getting gas,&quot; he whispers but it&apos;s been thirty minutes. Probably gas and a quick fuck. Like he cares.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;Sam,&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I know if you&apos;re reading this, something happened to us. This sounds so stupid but I got worried a week ago when Marissa and Rob broke up; you remember that they were together since ninth grade, or so they say? That&apos;s eight years and they broke up. I have to wonder what&apos;s going to happen to us.&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam knows right away that this letter isn&apos;t going to be a good one. His eyes slowly sweep the contents, feeling sick.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;I really hope you don&apos;t randomly find this. That would suck, because I didn&apos;t know where to put it in case you randomly run off. I mean, what if you take a trip? Then, I&apos;m an idiot.&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A grin slowly comes to his face from just four sentences, and he loves how random she used to be. She always had the maturity of a fifteen year old; he&apos;s ashamed to say that&apos;s what attracted him to her, as it almost makes him sound like a pedophile. Most of the girls in college with a good average are stuffy and don&apos;t give a damn. She did.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;But it&apos;s Valentine&apos;s day, and I&apos;m just thinking of what we&apos;ll be in twenty years and I can&apos;t imagine that far because everyone around us is falling apart. You remember what you got me, though? Six roses, because you spent all your money on the new semester and you didn&apos;t have any money left over and you were all upset. But you made me the cutest card. I mean, &lt;u&gt;made&lt;/u&gt; with hearts and arrows and just the dumbest, corniest stuff I&apos;d ever seen. And there&apos;s a Smurf.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I really love you sometimes.&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A quick laugh and Sam grins, remembering the card. The Smurf had looked more like a muffin, yeah, but he&apos;d drawn it. He&apos;s still proud of himself.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;I put in one of the roses. I hope it&apos;ll stay together. I&apos;m not putting in all of them, because they&apos;re mine, and I love them too much. And I&apos;m not putting in the card because it&apos;s mine, even if we break up or something. I love your drawings since you barely ever draw anything.&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Grinning wide now, he fingers the rose delicately, looking at it. There&apos;s no scent left and it has a few specks of dust on it, but he doesn&apos;t think he can smile any wider all the same.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;So I&apos;ve been rambling. You always say (said?) I do that when I talk. I just realized I do that in letters. Maybe you&apos;re right. I&apos;ll try and stop. (No I won&apos;t. It was a nice thought.)&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I wondered why you stopped for a day,&quot; he whispers to himself as if afraid to cut off his own reading of the letter. &quot;It was weird to hear you randomly cutting yourself off.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;What are we like? Did it work? Do we have kids? I want three, you know. I&apos;ve told you that so many times. Christian, after my dad, and Mary after your mom and… I don&apos;t know. I just like the number three. Watch. We&apos;ll have two kids and then a set of twins. We&apos;ll have to kill one. Sam, look what you made me say! I&apos;m going to have to yell at you now and you won&apos;t know why. (:&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She hadn&apos;t, but she had punched him in the arm, &lt;i&gt;hard&lt;/i&gt; that day when she was getting into bed. He&apos;d wondered what it was for and when he&apos;d asked, she&apos;d just grinned and said she loved him. He still thinks she punches harder than Dean ever can hope to. But the questions make him frown, because they&apos;d been trying. It was a stupid plan, but with him entering law school, she was going to take a bit of time off and they&apos;d wanted a kid so bad. They&apos;d never gotten that far.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;So are you off with your brother? I know you said he does paranormal stuff, like ghost hunting or something? I think we were a bit drunk that night. It sounds fun, though. I always believed in it. My house used to have doors open and close by itself. I think my Nana used to haunt it because it started after she died in it. But you said stuff about vampires and… things. That I don&apos;t believe in. You need to show me one of those.&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So he lied. He&apos;s lied about a lot of stuff to Dean, just like Dean lied about a lot of stuff to him. He isn&apos;t sure why, but there isn&apos;t much trust between them lately. Maybe because Dean figures that he had to have told Jess, and he&apos;s not far off. He told her everything, explaining the hunting, the death, anything he could remember. Except he was so drunk that day that he&apos;s surprised she remembers, because she was matching him beer for beer at a party - another thing he lied to Dean about not doing.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;You never got along well with him. I&apos;ve heard you talking on the phone with him. I had this nasty habit of listening on conversations with the mute on, mostly because you talk so damn long. I&apos;m the woman in the relationship, aren&apos;t I? I want to use the phone sometimes. ): You never let me. When you got on the phone, you never got off.&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Oh, damn. That&apos;s not good, considering the stuff she could&apos;ve heard. He knows he should&apos;ve felt angry, but just feels a bit upset that she never told him he talked too much. He would&apos;ve talked less. And he wouldn&apos;t have yelled at Dean so much either.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;I&apos;ve sort of forgotten the purpose of this letter. Sorry. I do that a lot. I&apos;m only passing with an A- average because of you and your great &apos;tutoring&apos; skills. But the flowers are beautiful and that was it!&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;So it&apos;s Valentine&apos;s Day, and I&apos;m taking time away from my man (don&apos;t laugh at me. If this is a fluke reading, I&apos;ll make you sleep on the couch like last Halloween because you wouldn&apos;t dress as Tarzan so I could be Jane. You&apos;re mean) to write this. I have five beautiful roses in front of me and I was just thinking… can you remember five really special kisses we&apos;ve shared? Don&apos;t laugh at how stupid it sounds. Really.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;I know I can. They&apos;re written on the back. Don&apos;t look until you think of five, please?&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He immediately knows he can remember more than five, but stops to read the last two sentences which make him smile more than he has in quite some time.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;&lt;i&gt;I love you, no matter what happened. Always have, always will.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Love,&lt;br /&gt;Jessica&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;February 14th, 2005&lt;/i&gt;&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Laying back, he lets the rose rest on his chest, holds the letter in his hand, then obeys as he focuses on five special times. He knows they have to be on or before the fourteenth of February too, as he wants to get the same ones as her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;center&gt;*  *  *&lt;/center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It was only their second date, and before they&apos;d even gotten together she had stated she wasn&apos;t that type of girl. On the crumpled out history test he&apos;d taken from his bag (considering he used a laptop to take down all his notes and wouldn&apos;t dream of having a notebook), he&apos;d scrawled out the words, &quot;do you want to &lt;u&gt;go out&lt;/u&gt; and get something to eat with me later?&quot; He&apos;d underlined the two words purposely so she wouldn&apos;t think it was friend wise; he thought she was hot, and still had been believing a bit in Dean&apos;s way back then of treating women. The three F rule was nearly tattooed on his forehead - find them, fuck them, forget them. In his mind, as they&apos;d hung out a lot, he needed to prove it wasn&apos;t a buddy thing like they&apos;d done in the past.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It&apos;d taken a few minutes to get back in neat cursive script, &quot;Sure, but I&apos;m not the kind of girl to kiss on the first date. Or anything before the fifth. And don&apos;t even think about touching my pants because I can see it in your eyes.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The meal had gone great, and two nights later they&apos;d gone to a movie. Walking her home normally was the most awkward thing, as Dean told him that was the point that he had to get into the girl&apos;s pants through &quot;suave handling.&quot; He wasn&apos;t even sure what the hell that meant.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Hands crammed into his pockets, he walked beside her in a path someone had made through the snow. January weather, and they were walking through the park. He knew it was dumb, but he didn&apos;t care because his coat kept him warm, but as he glanced towards her, he noted she was shivering some. What the hell did she expect with a coat that was made for the fall and for fashion?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He took off his without thinking, and slid it over her shoulders. A surprised look came to her face as she placed her arms inside, not refusing. Of course not - it was too cold. &quot;What are you going to use?&quot; she finally asked.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;You could be a lady and offer me your coat,&quot; he said with a joking look.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Yeah, because you&apos;d fit into it.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;An offended look came onto his features before he looked down at himself. &quot;Maybe I am a size too big...&quot; At the quiet snort of air she gave, he finally decided he&apos;d had enough. He&apos;d been raised in the woods, in the snow, in the cold, wearing nothing but a long-sleeved shirts some nights if one of them got wounded and needed the heat. This was nothing. Jessica on the other hand...&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He made a quick snowball and threw it at her, startling her as it hit her in the neck. Damn, his aim really was off. He&apos;d been hoping for her face; he used to be able to get it the first time when he and Dean joked around, and Dean wouldn&apos;t stand still.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Samuel Winchester!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;My name isn&apos;t Samuel,&quot; he said quickly as a grin came across his face and he started running backwards, glancing behind him quickly. This would be easy, if he wanted it that way. It was dark out; he could slink away into the night, run back to his room, and hide there. But he didn&apos;t want it easy. She&apos;d never been trained; he had. Anyway, it was fun just to mess around with her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A smirk came to her face as she took off his jacket and dropped it to the ground, making him stop immediately. &quot;Yes it is. Admit it or I&apos;ll jump on your coat and destroy it.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;But–&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I&apos;m wearing high heels.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Jess, it&apos;s my favorite coat! And it&apos;s expensive!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Then admit it!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Fine! It&apos;s Samuel! Just call me Sam, or even Sammy for all I care. Not fuckin&apos; Samuel!&quot; He noted his accent, something he was working so hard to get rid - after all, a southern lawyer who sounded like a redneck was not very comforting - came forth more than he liked.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She picked it up and gently brushed it off, then put it back on. Slowly she walked over to him, before he began to run again. She didn&apos;t look too happy, and he wasn&apos;t going to deal with that.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He got three steps before she tackled him to the ground and rolled him over, somehow managing to manhandle a 6&apos;4&quot; muscled man onto his back. He watched as she straddled his waist, and blinked up at her. This was awkward.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;It wasn&apos;t so much as she leaned down, her then short-hair brushing against his face, and brushed their lips together. It was just a light graze, and as soon as she&apos;d begun it, it was over, but it still happened.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Then she was picking up snow and shoving it in his face as he tried to figure out what was going on.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;The bitch.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;center&gt;*  *  *&lt;/center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Sam, I don&apos;t want to come out!&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Come on. It can&apos;t be that bad of a hair color.&quot; He knew it had to be, because she was sobbing loudly but it had to be fine. It was just a nice dark red color, one that she had opted to do herself so she could save them some money. Going to a hair dresser would cost a good hundred dollars that they didn&apos;t have.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;They had only been living together for a week, and he had already gone through getting shocked when he didn&apos;t realize her hair dryer was still plugged in, deciding he never wanted to go under the sink because that was where the tampons were, and getting dared by a friend to taste a bit of her perfume because it smelled like strawberries. Apparently, that didn&apos;t mean it tasted like it. It didn&apos;t help that they&apos;d been drunk.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He now stayed clear of the bathroom as much as he could, because all he needed was his comb, his toothbrush, the shower, the toilet and the sink and he was good. The rest was all hers. He didn&apos;t understand how one person could have so much. And the fact that she didn&apos;t seem to get privacy was still something he liked… Well, he wouldn&apos;t ever go into that one with anyone.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;As he placed the back of his head against the door, he tried to think of a way to get her out. &quot;Come on. Let me see, please?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;We&apos;ve only been dating for three months and two days. You&apos;ll find me horrible looking and run off with… with… Brittany from down the hall!&quot; Another sob and he had to wonder, faintly, how she knew the days exactly. Did he miss a three month anniversary? Was there even one?&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&apos;&lt;i&gt;Focus, Sammy!&lt;/i&gt;&apos; a voice yelled in his head that sounded too much like Dean and he blinked before he moved to let his forehead this time drop against the door with a small thud. That got him to focus.  &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Jess, come on,&quot; he spoke quietly as he poked the door, pressing it a bit into the door frame before letting it go so she knew he was right there. He wondered if she could even hear him. &quot;I want to help. I won&apos;t leave even if you shaved all your hair off like Demi Moore in G.I. Jane. Remember we saw that movie last week? Sucked ass. But I bet you didn&apos;t do what she did, even if you have the same last name as her. Maybe every Moore should save their head. There&apos;d be a few baldies on campus. I wonder if that&apos;s even a word. Baldies.&quot; &lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He was rambling so much, something he never did unless drunk, but it worked as she unlocked the door. He moved to open it slowly and walked inside, looking up at her.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Okay. He&apos;d been warned. He needed to act nice. But he could once remember a demon having this color hair. He stared for a second before he ran his hand through it, and looked at her. &quot;You look like a fire hydrant.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Sam!&quot; she sobbed.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;But a hot one,&quot; he corrected and how the hell did that slip out in the first place? Dean needed to stay &lt;i&gt;out&lt;/i&gt; of his head. He hadn&apos;t even spoken to him in months.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;She covered her face to start crying again, and he ended up pulling her close, wrapping his arms around her. He&apos;d long since learned the soft shushing noise didn&apos;t work on her, so he lightly rubbed her back and looked at her hair, careful not to touch it with his face. He didn&apos;t want it bright reddish-orange.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;How about this? We skip classes tomorrow, and I&apos;ll take you to the hair dresser, okay?&quot; He ignored the startled look on her face, because they never had the money for anything. They went on dates during matinees, ate at fast food places… Stanford wasn&apos;t cheap. Jessica&apos;s parents were paying for it, but didn&apos;t give her much money on the side. And with him paying for it himself, it was expensive. Over forty thousand a year for tuition, books, room and board… It didn&apos;t leave a lot to live on.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He just knew he&apos;d have to pull an old trick or two. It wasn&apos;t that hard to nick a wallet off someone; considering how drunk they were all the time, it&apos;d be easy even. He looked down at her to smile. &quot;I got some extra money coming in tonight. I just have to pick it up. We&apos;ll get anything you want done, alright? And go anywhere you want to eat afterwards.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;A lawyer-to-be, stealing. He felt sick, but as she leaned up to kiss him on the lips, deep and loving, he knew she deserved it for putting up with so much lying.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;center&gt;*  *  *&lt;/center&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Who were the presidents that were in office during the Cold War?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Truman, Eisenhower, Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, Carter, Reagan... and Bush?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Glancing down at the thirty page study sheet Sam had written out, Jess added, &quot;You forgot Gerald Ford.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;He didn&apos;t do anything anyway,&quot; Sam muttered, obviously reaching his limits. The final was in two days and he was absolutely cramming. He&apos;d been studying lately more than ever, but that didn&apos;t mean he knew a lot about the &quot;History of the US After 1940&quot; or so his course guide said.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;I know. In what year did the Senate pass what that imposed sanctions on Iraq? It was refused by the House, if you need it.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam grinned, because he knew this one. He actually knew one. &quot;It&apos;s the Prevention of Genocide Act of 1988, in that year.&quot; She looked ready to start talking, but he cut her off before it could begin. &quot;It addressed the chemical weapons on the Kurds by Saddam Hussein.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Smiling, Jess nodded, obviously taking his word for it. They both knew she was horrible at history - she was an English major and a business minor, the latter to please her parents. She wouldn&apos;t know anything like this, so she looked back at the paper. &quot;How many Americans were wounded and killed during Vietnam? Don&apos;t give me abouts either.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Aw, shit. He sighed and rubbed his forehead. &quot;57,500 dead and 150,750 wounded.&quot; He knew it was somewhere around there, and couldn&apos;t overshoot it. If he underestimated it in papers, then he wasn&apos;t penalized as badly as overestimating it.&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Immediately she shook her head. &quot;58,209 and 153,303. Alright. Let&apos;s stay on Vietnam.&quot; She looked for numbers or dates - he could explain things perfectly if there weren&apos;t numbers. Numbers messed him up so badly, and it was so lucky for him that he wasn&apos;t a math major. Dates though weren&apos;t that bad. &quot;How many were killed in the rescue operation known as the Mayaguez incident and when?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Mayagüez.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;What?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;Nothing. Just... not pronouncing it right.&quot; He shook his head, and tried to remember. He could do this. &quot;May... 16th, and 17.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;No.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Shit. He pulled the hood of the hoodie he was wearing up over his head and sunk into the couch. &quot;What is it?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Jess moved forward to straddle and watch him, her eyes showing worry instead of the normal desire. It couldn&apos;t be sexual - he was obviously getting stressed. &quot;15th and 18. How much did Graham Martin plead with the government to send for aid to South Vietnam but it didn&apos;t happen?&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Immediately his eyes lit up, because he knew this one and it was about Vietnam. Finally! &quot;Six hundred million.&quot; But the frown Jess gave made his heart drop a bit, and he slowly just placed his face to her shoulder, panicking. &quot;I got it wrong.&quot; She nodded against him, and he gave a shuddering sigh. &quot;I&apos;m going to fail.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&quot;No you&apos;re not,&quot; she whispered and began to slowly rub his back, but it was clear he&apos;d reached his limit. &quot;Calm down. You&apos;ll do fine. You&apos;re stressing. Classes are over, and you only need to study.&quot;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;Sam groaned and he clung to her, going over the facts in his head. His eyes traveled to the paper in her hand as she moved to rest it on the couch and looked at the facts. 2,750,000 tons of bombs were dropped during fourteen months because of Nixon. &quot;Study stuff I&apos;m going to fail,&quot; he whispered as he continued to read. &lt;i&gt;U.S. troops reduced to 196,700... 45,000 were removed by February 1972.... January 15th, 1973 Nixon announced suspension of offensive action against North Vietnam to be followed by unilateral withdrawal of U.S.--&lt;/i&gt;&lt;br /&gt;&lt;br /&gt;He glanced up sharply as Jess moved th